(First seen on my FB, 8/14/15)
Glinda the Good Witch from the Wizard of Oz is a sadistic psychopath.
Let’s look at the story.
Dorothy’s house fell on the Wicked Witch of the East. Now that was an accident that Dorothy had no control over. She even apologized. But then Glinda shows up and steals the shoes off the dead woman’s feet and puts them on Dorothy. She took and item from a dead body, an item that rightfully belonged to the dead woman’s only living heir, the Wicked Witch of the West. Glinda herself didn’t know what they were worth, as when the WWW (Wicked Witch of the West) tried to take them, Glinda put a magic spell on them and told Dorothy to stay tight in them, as if WWW wanted them, they must be very powerful. Yeah, or you stole something that didn’t belong to you, you big pink dressed meddler.
Then she sends Dorothy, who is a child, off ON HER OWN, to Oz to find the wizard, because she couldn’t help her. Bitch didn’t even give her a ride. Well she took up with some questionable “people” for sure. If you read the book, it says that there were houses scattered all along the way, and they would let Dorothy stay with them. Since the Scarecrow and Tin Man were not human, they had no need for food or sleep. So they would stand in the corner and watch her sleep. All night long. Nothing creepy about that, oh no.
Dorothy finally makes it to Oz, no thanks to Glinda. Sure she made snow fall on the poppies, but how about putting a protective spell on Dorothy, not just her damn shoes. Dorothy asks Oz for help and he sends her off on an extremely dangerous mission. She has to kill the witch and bring back her broom. Now I have two thoughts about this. Either he figured she wouldn’t make it back (knowingly sending her to her death), or he was in cahoots with Glinda, and they wanted WWW dead because she was supposedly “evil”, and sent a kid to do his dirty work. Either way, using a kid as your hit man is messed up.
Well Dorothy goes on the mission, and succeeds! She kills the woman who only wanted the shoes that were rightfully hers to begin with. Dorothy takes her broomstick back to the Wizard…who then tries to back out of the deal. Then Toto exposes him as a fraud. He says they’ll take his balloon, but in the end, leaves her behind. Dorothy is reduced to tears.
And then that bitch Glinda shows back up. She’s obviously been watching Dorothy the whole time, apparently waiting for her to take out WWW. Now she shows up, and tells Dorothy “hey click your heels three times and say ‘there’s no place like home’, and you’ll be there.” Dorothy even asks her why did she not tell her this at the beginning? Glinda says, “You wouldn’t have believed me.” I would have punched her square in the jaw.
Let’s see: my house went through a cyclone yet is still miraculously in one piece as are myself and my dog, my world went from Sepia to super ultra Technicolor, the house I blew here in landed on a person with some awesome shoes, a bunch of people who look like Oompa-Loompas came out and sang to me, you flew in on a bubble, magically put the awesome shoes on my feet, the sister of the person my house fell on now has a bounty on my ass over said shoes….and I won’t believe THAT? THAT is where you think I’ll draw the line? WHY NOT GIVE IT A SHOT, YOU SADISTIC PSYCHO?
And this is why I have a problem with The Wizard of Oz.