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My Theory About the T. Rex

I have a very good theory about how the dinosaurs went extinct, and specifically the T. Rex.

So the world is full of dinos, and they’re just doing their thing, dino-ing about.  There were big ones, like the Argentinosaurs, and little guys, like the Compsognathus.  Meat eaters, and plant eaters.  Land dwellers, water dwellers, and ones that flew in the sky.  And then there was the bully.

The T. Rex.

Rex was a big bully.  Like most bullies, it was because he had bad feelings about himself.  He was embarrassed by his little baby arms.  When he was young, the other dinos probably made fun of him, so he decided he would make them all pay!  He was a mean bully, beating up, hunting, and eating other dinos, even when they did nothing to him.
He was kind of an asshole.

As he was such a bully, he had no friends, which made him angrier and more of a bully….really, it was a vicious cycle.

So he goes around, picking on dinos and making them afraid of him.  Until one day… day, he falls into a tar pit.

With his little baby arms, he can’t pull himself out!  This is BAD.  He is in real trouble.  Well, a triceratops happens by.  So he calls out to it.
“Hey!  Triceratops!  I’m stuck!  Come down here and help me out!”
Well Triceratops remembers what an ass Rex was to her, he called her “stupid spiky plate head” and laughed.  “Why should I help you?”
“Come on, Cera.  I’m your friend!”
“No, you called me a stupid spiky plate head.  Why would you want help from a stupid spiky plate head like me?”
“I was only KIDDING!”

Triceratops looks around, and sees an Apatosaurus not too far away and calls out to it.  “Pat!  HEY PAT!  Come here!  You’ve gotta see this!”
So Pat comes over, looks down in the tar pit at Rex….and starts LAUGHING.  Rex gets mad.  “Pat!  Come on now!  This isn’t funny!  Help me out of here!  I’m warning you!”
“Oh really?” says Pat.  “What are you gonna do, Baby Arms?”  Pat then calls a bunch of other dinosaurs over.
They all point and laugh at this big bully stuck in the tar pits, unable to pull himself out with his wee baby arms.  Maybe they even threw rotten tomatoes at him, like you see on old cartoons.  The pterodactyls probably pooped on him and laughed.

Finally Cory (Corythosaurus) took pity on Rex.  Even though Rex had once called Cory “duck face mohawk head” he decides to help him.  So he backs down a bit into the pit and waves his tail to Rex for him to grab, and he does.  Unfortunately, Rex is almost twice as heavy as Cory, and instead of Cory pulling Rex out, Rex ends up pulling Cory in.

I’m sure you can see where this is going.

Surely somebody tried to pull Cory out, but Rex wasn’t about to let go.  Besides, tar is very sticky.  One by one, as they tried to save their friends, the dinosaurs got pulled into the tar pits and they all died.

I am 100% sure that’s what happened.




Born in March with a bad attitude. Crushing on Norman Reedus, Sean Patrick Flanery, and Balthazar Getty to name a few. Walking Dead/Talking Dead addict. Snail saviour. The only Hell my mama ever raised.

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