Not exactly. Stick with me on this one.
If you are my age or older, you may or may not remember the Puerto Rican boy band, Menudo. Their most famous former member is Ricky Martin (if you don’t know who he is, I can’t help you). Menudo showed up in the 70’s and lasted I believe into the 90’s, changing their image and name to M.D.O. (they may still be around, I have no idea). They way they kept their staying power was that once they turned 16, they had to leave. It was in their contract. They were replaced by some 12 or 13-year-old. Out with the old, in with the new.
He married Ivana when she was 28. They were together for 15 years, from 1977 – 1991. They divorced when she was 42. She is 68 now.
He then moved on to Marla Maples. That was a hot mess from the beginning. He married her when she was 30, and they were married for only 6 years, from 1993 – 1999. She is 53 now.
And finally, Melania. He married her when she was 35. They’ve been married for 12 years (so far), they got married in 2005. She is 47 now. Anyone else wondering when he’s going to trade her in for a younger model? He seems to prefer late 20’s to early 30’s, and tossing them in their 40’s (except for hot mess Marla). Out with the old in with the new.
There are also whispers that Melania married Trump to get her citizenship. I DO NOT know if this is true, I know very little about her. She had permanent U.S. residency in 2001, and became a citizen in 2005. I don’t know if it was before, after, or because of her marriage to Trump.
But if it was…I wonder if she ever looks at the mess her husband has made and thinks, “I should have gone back to Slovenia and worked at Dairy Queen. It would be better than this clusterfuck.”
I’ve also heard that she is living in their New York penthouse while the Cheeto lives in the White House. I wonder what she does there, all by herself. When I was in school, when the rich kids parents went out of town for a weekend, they would throw a party. Maybe Melania is in the penthouse throwing keggers. Picture her in that weird blue outfit she wore at the swearing in ceremony doing keg stands. You’re welcome.
So I’m sure Trump would love to know that I equate him with a Hispanic boy band, since he loves Hispanics so much.