Posted in random

I am A Pixar Character

I think everyone has that one Pixar character that they relate to.  That one that is just so THEM.  For me, at first it was Wall-E.  The fact that I identified with a freaking ROBOT of all things is highly amusing to me.  Then it was Merida from Brave, from her badass bow and arrow (I shot for many years and was DAMN good), to her fighting for her own hand to decide when (and if) she chose to marry.  But I have finally found the Pixar character that is so much like me, so true to my life, that I suspect that they had someone follow me around to get information.
People, I am a character from Moana.

I am Hei-Hei.

Yes, I am referring to that derp ass chicken.

I swear that is ME.

This chicken never really knows what the Hell is going on, and just kind of derps his way through life.
Last week, I actually wrote down a date as 2013.  I have no idea what is going on.  And day by day, I just kinda go around all “derp derp derp”… I seriously think I might be part muppet.
Dorky, derpy, and 100% me….Hei-Hei, the Derp Ass Chicken.  We even kind of look alike.

 

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Posted in random

Bartering

I know, I know, I’ve been gone for awhile, so sue me.  And now that I’m back, I have a question for you:
I have heard before that in small town America, the bartering system is alive and well. Is this true? Have you (or someone you know) experienced it? If so, please tell me about it! Did a gas station let you mop the floor for some gas for your car? Did a restaurant let you bus some tables for soup and a sandwich?
Please let me know, I want to see if this is true.  While I doubt a Starbucks would give you coffee for sweeping off their walkway, a local mom and pop type place might, and that’s what I want to hear about!barter-system-online-1-638

Posted in random

Was “The Wizard of Oz” a Cautionary Tale?

I think about this movie quite a bit (see my entry “Glinda the Good Witch Is a Psycho”).    I’ve wondered for years if maybe the movie was a cautionary tale.  Yes, I know it was based on the series of children’s books by L. Frank Baum, but even so, I think I may be right.

 

Let’s take a look at Dorothy Gale.  In the books, she was a child, 10 years old.  But in the movie, she was obviously MUCH older.  In real life, Judy Garland was 17. I’m not sure if this is true, but I read somewhere that they made her bind her breasts in an attempt to look younger, but it didn’t work.  Sister had a huge rack.

 

But that plays right into my cautionary tale as well.

 

The “Dust Bowl Migration”, as it was called, happened during the 1930’s.  The midwest was mostly farmland at the time. It had been overfarmed to death, and there was a severe drought that came in three waves: 1934, 1936, and 1939, but some places had a straight through drought lasting 8 years.  The topsoil (and any seeds farmed in it) pretty much blew away. It started in 1930 and lasted roughly 9 years, until 1939, affecting parts of Texas, New Mexico, Colorado, Nebraska, Kansas, and Oklahoma. The Great Depression (1929 – 1939) was already in full swing.  So now you had people who couldn’t afford food, and there wasn’t much to be had. Farmers couldn’t even grow enough to feed their own families, and were losing their land, either due to being unable to pay their mortgage, or because there was no point in keeping it when the ground was useless.

Many decided to head West, mainly to California.

I’m sure many of these people had stars in their eyes.  They would become a famous actor or actress, and be rich, and never have to worry again.  The streets would be paved with gold. I have no doubt that many then (as now) were taken advantage of by unscrupulous people, looking to take whatever they had from them, however little it was.  Surely there were some very pretty ladies who got into some very bad situations.

 

But this is where the warnings of The Wizard of Oz come in.  You’re going to California (Oz) to be a star? It’s a very strange place (Munchkinland).  There will be many strange, downright freakish, people, that may be thoughtless, heartless, and cowardly (The Scarecrow, the Tin Man, and the Lion).
There may be someone who can help you (Glinda the Good Witch), but watch that they don’t turn on you (The Wicked Witch of the West).  Don’t trust the men (The Great and Powerful Oz), they will say anything to gain your trust (pay no attention to the man behind the curtain, and of course I will take you home in my hot air balloon).  At the end of the day, when it’s all said and done, you will realize that THERE’S NO PLACE LIKE HOME.

 

What do you think?

 

dust storm in Kansas in 1937 4c6e291367e1ac7bd052a6aea61c4d20--dust-storm-dust-bowl

buried farm equipment in Dallas, South Dakota in 1936Dust_Bowl_-_Dallas,_South_Dakota_1936

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Posted in random, Uncategorized

R.I.P. Net Neutrality

With net neutrality dead in the water, likely this blog is too.  I am unemployed and cannot afford to pay for internet for things like this.  As it is, I don’t know how I’ll afford to pay for it to look for a job.  It was fun while it lasted.
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First Horror Movies

The first scary movie I ever saw was Poltergeist.  I was maybe 8 or 9, and I probably shouldn’t have watched it.  As a child, I was NOT into scary movies AT ALL.  I watched it because I was spending the night at a friend’s house, and it was on cable.  It scarred me for life (it’s the main reason I hate clowns).  I didn’t watch any horror movies for years afterward.

Fast forward to a few years later at a friends slumber party.  The first horror movie we watched there was one from 1982 called Pieces.  We spent most of the movie laughing at the clothes and hairdos and atrocious acting.  Then we watched a movie that I can never forget.

We watched Sleepaway Camp.

If you have watched this movie, YOU KNOW.  You know and I don’t even have to say anything.  If you haven’t seen this movie, please do so.  It’s got a twist ending that to this day makes people’s eyes pop right out of their head.  You spend most of the movie trying to figure out who the killer is, and when it’s revealed…..let’s just say that M. Night Shyamalan WISHES he could do a twist like this.
Let me say, that was my first time ever seeing a penis (and I am giving away nothing by saying this).  I wasn’t even sure what I was looking at.  I was 11.  I turned to my friend and said, “Is that a guy’s thing?”  And she said, “Yeah.”  I was absolutely HORRIFIED by it.  Not the penis itself, just that it was so hairy.  I mean you could barely see it in all that hair.  It really confused me.  Seriously, in all of my life, I’ve never seen one so damn hairy.

What horror movies scarred you for life?
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Migraines and Halloween

I know, I’m a horrible person, I haven’t been posting.  I’ve been having a lot of migraines, so I’ll blame that.  FOR ALL THAT IS HOLY, DO NOT GIVE ME ADVICE.  I’ve been having migraines for 26 years now.  I have tried every OTC med there is, every prescription there is, every homeopathic remedy.  I’ve tried yoga, visualization, and chiropractic (that last actually gave me more migraines).  I’ve tried hot compresses, cold compresses, and changing my diet.  I have to unfortunately live with them.  They were sporadic most of my life, and lasted anywhere from 4 hours to 4 days.  But in the last year or so, they have lasted 4 days.  Every.  Single.  Time.   The pain is a crippling one, coupled with vision problems, dizziness, nausea, and sensitivity to lights, sounds, and smells.   I’ve been getting them once a month.  I tracked them and they are unrelated to my period, showing up randomly: beginning of the month, end of the month, waking me up from a sound sleep at times, others just hitting me out of nowhere.
I got TWO of them this month, again, 4 days each.  We’re trying to see if it could be related to cheese, of all things, as that is a trigger for some.  So I have to cut out cheese and see if they stop.  This sucks as I fucking LOVE cheese.  But hey, if it will make my head stop hurting, I’ll drop it.

In other exciting life news, I actually got dressed up and went out Saturday night for Halloween.  The little local dive bar I was at was having a costume contest, so I figured why the hell not, right?  I was up against some good costumes, though.  There was a gay couple dressed as Peter Pan and Tinkerbell, a drag queen who had to be 10 feet tall with a great ass, a husband dressed as Abe Lincoln and a wife dressed as Freddie Mercury (they were Lincoln-Mercury), and an NFL referee, to name a few.
And then there was me.
I was Abby from NCIS.
Pigtails, lab coat, NCIS badge, and giant cup of CafPow.

I FUCKING WON.

I honestly didn’t even think I’d place.  I hoped someone would take enough pity on my sad little costume and maybe buy me a drink.
Instead I won first place.

$100 CASH, kids.

That’s a LOT of money when you’ve been unemployed as long as I have!

So next week, I plan to go to the mall, and buy a few pairs of pants that actually fit (my size 10’s are so loose I need a belt or I’d be arrested, and my size 8’s are getting a little baggy, too), maybe some new sweats (mine are years old and falling apart), and maybe some yarn from Michael’s.

But damn, never thought I’d win.  Also, all of my “Abby” clothes are from my own damn closet.  #eldergoth

day3

Posted in random

Hats for the Homeless

I knit beanie hats in my spare time. I usually just put them in the charity boxes we give to Salvation Army every 4 months or so. But on nextdoor. com the other day, someone was giving away some old baseball caps, and wanted to know if someone wanted them. A lady said she’d like them as she does homeless outreach, and it would give them something to help keep their heads warm. Well I had 37 knitted caps, so I messaged her asking if she would like them as well. She just came by and picked them up, and as we were talking, I told her how I make them to basically keep me occupied, so she said if I ever had some and wanted to donate them, she’d be happy to take them, AND that if I needed yarn to make more, she could get it to me through donations! I don’t need yarn as my friend Cameron gave me a ton of it a while back (which is what all of those hats were made from), but that’s good to know.
I’m helping!
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