Posted in repost

September 11

I know I’ve been M.I.A. for a bit, you know how life is.
Today is the day that reminds us why we have to get to the airport two hours early, take off our shoes, and get xrayed.  I wrote this back in 2014, and it still stands.

 

“Do you remember?”

Yeah. I can’t forget. It’s like how older people remember where they were and what they were doing when Kennedy was shot. But it wasn’t our President – I never liked that jackass anyway.
It was our whole country. It was like the world had caught fire.
I was in college and living with my mom. My dad had left us, so we were living in a one bedroom, and I slept on the sofabed. I was watching the news as I got ready to make the long 2 hour by 2 buses trek to class. They said a plane hit one of the Twin Towers. The way they just kind of casually said it made me think that it wasn’t serious. I thought it was a small plane, and maybe they lost control. Some people would be dead. That was sad.
But it was so much worse.
Mom came into the living room after her shower and watched with me. We just couldn’t understand what was happening. Just after 6 am, we watched a live picture as the second plane crashed.
I begged my mom not to go to work, but she said she would be fine (she worked for U.C. Berkeley, and yes was fine). I told her I wasn’t going to class. I wrote for the school paper, and the meeting was that day. A little after 7 am, I called the classroom and another girl from the paper answered. She hadn’t even known what was going on until she got in and turned on the news. I told her to let the Advisor know that I would not be in, but that my article for that week was already in the can. She was scared and said she was thinking of going home.
I kept thinking that it couldn’t be real. That someone had pirated the airwaves. But it was real.
I didn’t know anyone who lost their lives in New York or Pennsylvania, but I felt like I had. I fell asleep on my sofabed that day with the TV on, and when I woke, I hoped it was a dream. But it wasn’t. And I cried.
I cried for the people who died and I cried for the people who lived.
And I cried because I knew our country would NEVER be free again.
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Posted in repost

Things Snails Have Taught Me

(Written sometime in 2008, because I love snails!)

1) It doesn’t matter how small you are, you can still freak people out.

2) There’s no rush, really. You’ll get there sooner or later.

3) Some people will actually like you. Most won’t.

4) Don’t wait for the one person who will help you. Sometimes she’s busy, too.

5) Carry only what you really need with you.

6) Eat your greens.

7) Go outside after it rains.

8) Try to stay out of the path of traffic.

9) Some people will try to hurt you just because. But some people will try to help you for the same reason.

10) Salt is very, very bad for you.

11) Water is very, very good for you.

12) Don’t be afraid of anyone or anything bigger than you.

13) Mating is messy and fun and should be done often.

14) Stay out of the sun.

15) Being kinda dirty, even slimy, can be okay.

Posted in repost

Glinda the Good Witch Is a Psycho

(First seen on my FB,  8/14/15)

Glinda the Good Witch from the Wizard of Oz is a sadistic psychopath.

Let’s look at the story.

Dorothy’s house fell on the Wicked Witch of the East.  Now that was an accident that Dorothy had no control over.  She even apologized.  But then Glinda shows up and steals the shoes off the dead woman’s feet and puts them on Dorothy.  She took and item from a dead body, an item that rightfully belonged to the dead woman’s only living heir, the Wicked Witch of the West.  Glinda herself didn’t know what they were worth, as when the WWW (Wicked Witch of the West) tried to take them, Glinda put a magic spell on them and told Dorothy to stay tight in them, as if WWW wanted  them, they must be very powerful.  Yeah, or you stole something that didn’t belong to you, you big pink dressed meddler.

Then she sends Dorothy, who is a child, off ON HER OWN, to Oz to find the wizard, because she couldn’t help her.  Bitch didn’t even give her a ride.  Well she took up with some questionable “people” for sure.  If you read the book, it says that there were houses scattered all along the way, and they would let Dorothy stay with them.   Since the Scarecrow and Tin Man were not human, they had no need for food or sleep.  So they would stand in the corner and watch her sleep.  All night long.  Nothing creepy about that, oh no.

Dorothy finally makes it to Oz, no thanks to Glinda.  Sure she made snow fall on the poppies, but how about putting a protective spell on Dorothy, not just her damn shoes.  Dorothy asks Oz for help and he sends her off on an extremely dangerous mission.  She has to kill the witch and bring back her broom.  Now I have two thoughts about this.  Either he figured she wouldn’t make it back (knowingly sending her to her death), or he was in cahoots with Glinda, and they wanted WWW dead because she was supposedly “evil”, and sent a kid to do his dirty work. Either way, using a kid as your hit man is messed up.

Well Dorothy goes on the mission, and succeeds!  She kills the woman who only wanted the shoes that were rightfully hers to begin with.  Dorothy takes her broomstick back to the Wizard…who then tries to back out of the deal.  Then Toto exposes him as a fraud.  He says they’ll take his balloon, but in the end, leaves her behind.  Dorothy is reduced to tears.

And then that bitch Glinda shows back up.  She’s obviously been watching Dorothy the whole time, apparently waiting for her to take out WWW.  Now she shows up, and tells Dorothy “hey click your heels three times and say ‘there’s no place like home’, and you’ll be there.”  Dorothy even asks her why did she not tell her this at the beginning?  Glinda says, “You wouldn’t have believed me.” I would have punched her square in the jaw.

Let’s see:  my house went through a cyclone yet is still miraculously in one piece as are myself and my dog, my world went from Sepia to super ultra Technicolor, the house I blew here in landed on a person with some awesome shoes, a bunch of people who look like Oompa-Loompas came out and sang to me, you flew in on a bubble, magically put the awesome shoes on my feet, the sister of the person my house fell on now has a bounty on my ass over said shoes….and I won’t believe THAT?  THAT is where you think I’ll draw the line?  WHY NOT GIVE IT A SHOT, YOU SADISTIC PSYCHO?

And this is why I have a problem with The Wizard of Oz.

Posted in family, repost

Jiffy Pop Story (courtesy of the mom unit)

(First seen on my FB, 9/2/10)

We got to talking about popcorn today, and got on the subject of Jiffy Pop.  When I was a kid, Jiffy pop was a treat.  Not because I like popcorn, but because it was a show unto itself (if you haven’t made Jiffy Pop, you haven’t lived).  The mom unit told me that once as a teen, she and her sister had a contest to see who could get their Jiffy Pop to pop the fastest. 

They were side by side at the stove, and my mom’s was popping up all big and shiny, while my aunt was having issues.  So in a fit of sibling rivalry and frustration, my aunt took her pan of Jiffy Pop and pounded my mom’s down with it.  I’m sorry but that is one of the funniest things I’ve ever heard.  Kind of like BLAM! BLAM!  “Who’s winning now?”

My family has several weird stories like this about my laid back super cool aunt – things I can’t even really picture that they swear she did…like stomping on a bully’s face in her cowboy boots.

 

I sometimes really love my family.